I saw his car, twice.
It's not a big problem actually, what make it worse is I let myself replied his text for several times just for answering those unnecessary things.
I don't know how, but whenever I feel my heart beat faster than it supposed to, I'm sure he's around me.
Seems like I have a good feeling at it, seems like God give me a sign. Sounds stupid?
Yes.
But it happened for three times.
First, when I took a rest at my course. I went to somewhere with my friends, then suddenly my heart beat faster than before. I have no idea how could this happened. And several days later, I knew from him that he was at the same place with me. He was around me. We were so close. Hiks.
Second, when I was going to take a class at my course. I don't know why my heart was beating faster than it supposed to. My friend always talked about him, his car, or anything about him. And it makes me curious, whenever I saw a red car I make sure that wasn't him. But in fact, that was his car! I almost meet him, thank God for "almost". Yes. He was around me, we were so close.
And third, 2 days ago. My heart was beating faster over and over again, I kept asking myself what would happened at that time. Then I went to somewhere with my friends, to get some food for this fussy tummy and when my friends picked me up to get home, again. I saw his car and I guess I saw him too.
From now on, I trust my heart more than anything. Whenever it's beating faster, I have to prepare myself for anything that could be happened. I wish I could handle it.
It's not a big things actually. I accepted him on path, twice. And unshared him twice. He asked me why did I remove him from my friend list?
Well you know, actually I don't want to know anything about him.
I know more from my friends although I don't want to.
I know the truth. I know how was his day going on. I do really know, eventhough I ignore myself to think about it.
Sad enough, isn't it?
I trust someone who had lied to me for thousand times, but I still trust him.
I knew the truth, but I still trust a lie.
I'm exhausted to get myself think about it over and over again, it neither change anything nor heals the pain.
But this is a life! I have to enjoy every moment of it. I do accept this story, I learned much from it.
I need more time to heal this pain, after it perhaps we could be friend again. Totally friend. Time will prove it.
AZS
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