The art of crying

“why do you keep crying?” her friend replied.

“to tell my self that everything’s gonna be fine after this..”she gasped.

“he doesn’t even care, he’s not gonna be here.
he has his own life, yours too.
while you’re here crying yourself to sleep, crying until drop
maybe, he’s there enjoying his life, build new conversation everyday, laugh to his new friends..
maybe, you don’t even cross his mind, he doesn’t love you as much as you think.
what’s the point? you still cry in your empty room, you cry whenever you miss him” her friend keep telling the truth.

“how could you say that?” she asked.

“you don’t give up on someone you love, you don’t let go of them easily.” her friend replied.

“I’m the one who give up on us..” she whispered.

“then, he doesn’t love you.
if you’re the one who give up you’re not gonna be here, crying yourself to sleep, keep calling his name, keep telling yourself that you miss him.
you’re just gonna give up and gone, like he did.
or at least, if he loves you he won’t let you go, he will protect you, he will try everything he can just to keep you, don’t be stupid..
you’re not the one he wanted, stop crying.” her friend explained.

“let me cry until I can’t remember the way he loved me,
until I can’t remember things we did,
until I feel nothing at all whenever I see something related to him,
when I don’t even cry whenever I miss him and I remember us, that finally I can tell my self that he doesn’t love me as much as you said, or perhaps he doesn’t love me at all” she left with her swollen eyes.

Go on

“..you are going to be okay”
he replied.

The worst decision ever. See? You take the risk. You lose. You destroy us. “you are going to be okay” you said. In fact, nothing left. Bolder line, further distance, time difference, unstable, vulnerable. You know, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. This time, I blame you. Take your risk. You lose me, you lose us. You’ll see, I’m going to be okay as you said.

-Vanilla

A place full of sh*t

Since the day you left,
I just realized..
It was a disaster.

Since the day you left,
I just realized..
It destroyed us.

Since the day you left,
I just realized..
It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

Unstable.
Vulnerable.
You’re gone too soon,
to a place full of sh*t.

I give up,
to a place full of sh*t
to those empty promises
to those unreachable future
to us.

I,
give up on us.
Wishing you get a lot of happiness in a place full of sh*t, in your place.

-Vanilla.